Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
This is who we are at war with folks ( Humor )
Jul 18, 2008 The Islamic faith has particular rules regarding personal hygiene known as the Qadaahul Haajah.
Among them as follows: ( Including that it is forbidden to use tiolet paper and that you MUST wipe your ass with your left hand......since the left hand is considered " Unclean" in the Muslin world......well, if you wipe your ass with it, then yeah.....it's unclean.....
One should enter the toilet with the left foot and leave with the right foot.
.
It is not permissible to enter the toilet whilst carrying or wearing anything bearing the name of Allah, such as the Quran, or any book with the name of Allah in it, or jewelry such as bracelets or necklaces engraved with the name of Allah.
.
One should remain silent whilst on the toilet. Talking, answering greetings or greeting others is forbidden.
.
It is considered forbidden to relieve oneself whilst standing up, lying down or if you are completely nude.
.
One should sit on the feet (e.g. squat) keeping thighs wide apart with the stress on the left foot.(WTF)
.
Do not look to the private parts of the body nor the waste matter passed from the body.
.
.Do not sit more than needed.
.
Do not spit, blow nose, look hither and thither, touch the body unnecessarily nor look towards the sky but relieve oneself with the eyes downcast in modesty.
Better Step up production of our J.D.A.M -Joint Dircect Attack Munition( For those of you unfimaliar with this weapon,I i'll post to inform you on this weapon.....'Tis the SHIZZNIT !!
Among them as follows: ( Including that it is forbidden to use tiolet paper and that you MUST wipe your ass with your left hand......since the left hand is considered " Unclean" in the Muslin world......well, if you wipe your ass with it, then yeah.....it's unclean.....
One should enter the toilet with the left foot and leave with the right foot.
.
It is not permissible to enter the toilet whilst carrying or wearing anything bearing the name of Allah, such as the Quran, or any book with the name of Allah in it, or jewelry such as bracelets or necklaces engraved with the name of Allah.
.
One should remain silent whilst on the toilet. Talking, answering greetings or greeting others is forbidden.
.
It is considered forbidden to relieve oneself whilst standing up, lying down or if you are completely nude.
.
One should sit on the feet (e.g. squat) keeping thighs wide apart with the stress on the left foot.(WTF)
.
Do not look to the private parts of the body nor the waste matter passed from the body.
.
.Do not sit more than needed.
.
Do not spit, blow nose, look hither and thither, touch the body unnecessarily nor look towards the sky but relieve oneself with the eyes downcast in modesty.
Better Step up production of our J.D.A.M -Joint Dircect Attack Munition( For those of you unfimaliar with this weapon,I i'll post to inform you on this weapon.....'Tis the SHIZZNIT !!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
President Bush's First Speech That Was Never Used Following 9/11 ( Humor )
Good evening my fellow Americans.
First, I want to pass on my condolences to the people of New York and all Americans that are hurting in this tragic time. You can rest assured that anything and everything that can be done to assure the safety of our country will be done. This is the greatest country in the world and we will get through this trying time. Now is the time for all people to set aside our petty differences and show the world that no one or nothing can destroy the fortitude of the American people.
To the people responsible for today's tragedy, I say this: Are you fucking kidding me? Are the turbans on your heads wrapped too tight? Have you gone too long without a bath? Do you not know who you are fucking with? Americans are so hungry to kill, that we shoot at each other every day. We will relish that opportunity for new targets for our aggression. Have you forgotten history? What happened to the last people that started fucking around with us? Remember the little yellow bastards over in Japan? We slapped them all over the Pacific and roasted about 2 million of them in their own back yard. That's what we in America call a big ass barbecue. Ever seen Texas on a map? Ever wonder why it's so big? Because we wanted it that way, Mexico started jacking around with the Alamo and now they cut our lawns. England? We sent them packing.
Ask your buddy Saddam about fucking with the good 'ole USA. The only reason he got away the first time is because it's too hard to shoot someone when you're doubled over laughing at them. Our soldiers aren't trained to laugh and shoot at the same time. Now he couldn't stop a pack of cub scouts from taking over his shitty little country.
Trust us, Afghanistan will end up a giant kitty litter box. Go ahead and try to hide, Bin Laden. There's not a hole deep enough or a mountain high enough that's going to keep your camel riding asses safe. We will bomb every inch of the country that harbors him, his camps and any place that looks and even smells like he was there. Hell, we might even drop a few bombs on people that have pissed us off in the past. This is America. We kick ass. This is what we do. Go ahead and laugh now, but the Tomahawks are coming and we will smoke your sorry asses.
God bless America!
First, I want to pass on my condolences to the people of New York and all Americans that are hurting in this tragic time. You can rest assured that anything and everything that can be done to assure the safety of our country will be done. This is the greatest country in the world and we will get through this trying time. Now is the time for all people to set aside our petty differences and show the world that no one or nothing can destroy the fortitude of the American people.
To the people responsible for today's tragedy, I say this: Are you fucking kidding me? Are the turbans on your heads wrapped too tight? Have you gone too long without a bath? Do you not know who you are fucking with? Americans are so hungry to kill, that we shoot at each other every day. We will relish that opportunity for new targets for our aggression. Have you forgotten history? What happened to the last people that started fucking around with us? Remember the little yellow bastards over in Japan? We slapped them all over the Pacific and roasted about 2 million of them in their own back yard. That's what we in America call a big ass barbecue. Ever seen Texas on a map? Ever wonder why it's so big? Because we wanted it that way, Mexico started jacking around with the Alamo and now they cut our lawns. England? We sent them packing.
Ask your buddy Saddam about fucking with the good 'ole USA. The only reason he got away the first time is because it's too hard to shoot someone when you're doubled over laughing at them. Our soldiers aren't trained to laugh and shoot at the same time. Now he couldn't stop a pack of cub scouts from taking over his shitty little country.
Trust us, Afghanistan will end up a giant kitty litter box. Go ahead and try to hide, Bin Laden. There's not a hole deep enough or a mountain high enough that's going to keep your camel riding asses safe. We will bomb every inch of the country that harbors him, his camps and any place that looks and even smells like he was there. Hell, we might even drop a few bombs on people that have pissed us off in the past. This is America. We kick ass. This is what we do. Go ahead and laugh now, but the Tomahawks are coming and we will smoke your sorry asses.
God bless America!
Arab Jokes ( Humor )
Have you heard of the new Iraqi boy band?
No kids on the block!
What's 8 feet long and is wrapped around a lump of shit?
A turban!
How many Afghans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It doesn't matter. The electricity has been off for at least a year anyway!
How do you play Iraqi bingo?
B-52...F-16...B-2....
Why does the Iraqi navy have glass bottomed boats?
So that they can see their Navy!
The President of the USA, George Bush, and his Vice President, Dick Cheney, are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in, sees them and asks the barman, “Isn’t that the President and the Vice President sitting over there?” The bartender says, “Yep, that’s them.”
So the guy walks over and says, “Wow, this is a real honour! What are you guys doing in here?” Bush says, “We’re planning World War Three.”
And the guy says, “Really? What’s going to happen?” Bush says, “Well, we’re going to kill 140 million Arabs and one blonde with big breasts.”
The guy exclaimed, “A blonde with big breasts? Why would you kill a blonde with big breasts?” Bush turns to Cheney and says, “See, I told you no one would care about 140 million Arabs”.
Two Arabs are sitting in a Gaza Strip bar chatting over a pint of fermented goat’s milk.
One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.
“This is my oldest son, he’s a martyr.”
“This is my second son. He is a martyr also.”
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab says wistfully, “They blow up so fast, don’t they?”
Why are camels called “Ships of the Desert”?
Because they’re full of Arab seamen…
How do you tell when an arab has gone through puberty?
He takes his diaper off of his ass and puts it on his head.
Why aren’t there any WalMarts in Afghanistan?
Because there’s a Target on every corner.
In Iraq, Why don’t they teach driver’s education and sex education on the same day?
Its just too hard for the camels.
How is an Arab like Fred Flintstone?
Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
What's the five-day forecast for Afghanistan?
Two days.
TO BE SUNG TO THE TUNE OF "Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)"
Day-O...oh Day-O,
Air force come and they flatten your home
Run Mr Taliban, we know where you're hiding,
Air force come and they flatten your home
Hey USA, USA, USA...
Air force come and they flatten you home
60ft, 70ft, 80ft craters,
Air force come and they flatten your home
Old Uncle Sam's pissed, he ain't no quitter,
Air force come and they flatten your home
When we finish you all be crying,
Air force come and they flatten your home,
Pilot is brother of New York fireman
Air force come and they flatten your home.
No kids on the block!
What's 8 feet long and is wrapped around a lump of shit?
A turban!
How many Afghans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It doesn't matter. The electricity has been off for at least a year anyway!
How do you play Iraqi bingo?
B-52...F-16...B-2....
Why does the Iraqi navy have glass bottomed boats?
So that they can see their Navy!
The President of the USA, George Bush, and his Vice President, Dick Cheney, are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in, sees them and asks the barman, “Isn’t that the President and the Vice President sitting over there?” The bartender says, “Yep, that’s them.”
So the guy walks over and says, “Wow, this is a real honour! What are you guys doing in here?” Bush says, “We’re planning World War Three.”
And the guy says, “Really? What’s going to happen?” Bush says, “Well, we’re going to kill 140 million Arabs and one blonde with big breasts.”
The guy exclaimed, “A blonde with big breasts? Why would you kill a blonde with big breasts?” Bush turns to Cheney and says, “See, I told you no one would care about 140 million Arabs”.
Two Arabs are sitting in a Gaza Strip bar chatting over a pint of fermented goat’s milk.
One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.
“This is my oldest son, he’s a martyr.”
“This is my second son. He is a martyr also.”
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab says wistfully, “They blow up so fast, don’t they?”
Why are camels called “Ships of the Desert”?
Because they’re full of Arab seamen…
How do you tell when an arab has gone through puberty?
He takes his diaper off of his ass and puts it on his head.
Why aren’t there any WalMarts in Afghanistan?
Because there’s a Target on every corner.
In Iraq, Why don’t they teach driver’s education and sex education on the same day?
Its just too hard for the camels.
How is an Arab like Fred Flintstone?
Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
What's the five-day forecast for Afghanistan?
Two days.
TO BE SUNG TO THE TUNE OF "Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)"
Day-O...oh Day-O,
Air force come and they flatten your home
Run Mr Taliban, we know where you're hiding,
Air force come and they flatten your home
Hey USA, USA, USA...
Air force come and they flatten you home
60ft, 70ft, 80ft craters,
Air force come and they flatten your home
Old Uncle Sam's pissed, he ain't no quitter,
Air force come and they flatten your home
When we finish you all be crying,
Air force come and they flatten your home,
Pilot is brother of New York fireman
Air force come and they flatten your home.
Monday, May 16, 2011
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